Now I have been dry for just over a week now I thought it might be useful to write about my experiences from detoxing off alcohol, and how this has changed me for the better.
Now I had been waiting to go on the detox program for a while now, I can understand why there was a delay because I needed to re-learn the skills of relapse prevention and learning to live again. However the longer you go on with the dependency the more desperate it makes you feel. You want out, you want the dependency to be thrown away down the drain, but you alone, perceived or not, are incapable of kicking it without outside intervention.
That desperation, that feeling of being dependent on something that if you withheld it from yourself for too long you wouldn’t be able to cope and get sick or not be able to function at all. It’s a horrible feeling, you don’t want it but you are compelled to get it, its insidious and its like a malevolent force controlling you for its own amusement.
Then along came the detox, the only way to describe what the medication makes you feel like, is that it makes you feel really tired one day and then as it builds up you get a day or two of feeling drunk, it’s the most surreal feeling ever. Then however you start coming down from the medication and you start to remember what it feels like to be normal again, what its like to be sober and actually be lucid for longer than an hour or two. I’m still getting to grips with these new emotions, or should I reconnecting with them, but I am excited and full of confidence and positivity of going in the right direction and staying on that path.
If there is one thing I absolutely have learnt is that to relapse like I did last year is absolutely not a failure, you pick yourself up and learn from it and come back stronger for it. One failure/mistake and it is not over not by a long shot.
you come back, you dig in, and you fight
Thank you for reading