This is something I’ve always had trouble with, as it is so easy to think about what you are going to do to change something that you’re not happy with, to act on that image that you want to set for yourself is another matter entirely.
Its something that I am realising more and more as time goes by that, I am the only one who can do anything about it, that life I dream of, and half expect to fall in my lap? Never going to happen unless I do something about it. That’s been a major problem that I don’t think I have ever admitted to myself, half expecting/hoping that things will fall into place, wait long enough and it will happen, then all the while watch as my life slowly starts to fade into an endless cycle of low self-esteem and confidence.
Then you get so ingrained and used to that way of life, that you start to get comfortable and you grow reticent to change it, because change is uncertain and a scary thing to contemplate yet alone actually acting on it.
The reason why it’s so hard to act on change? Fear plain and simple, what if I fail? What if things get worse if I try to make things different/better for myself and it doesn’t pan out? You fail to see the huge benefits to those changes you can make, because the fear keeps you looking inside yourself. It’s that part of you that is happy with their lot in life, its comfort zone if you will, and at that stage, the only thing that will help give you the tools, the preparedness to get out of that dingy hole is to seek help, or perhaps seek avenues of inspiration that will get you to see the hole you’ve been stuck in for all this time.
This has been coming for a while in my regards as the more I have forced myself to face up to reality and to my situation, I have gotten too comfortable and admittedly somewhat bitter in places as things haven’t panned out how I wished them too, rather than what I’ve made them.
The catalyst for me has been finding methods of motivation such as speeches from YouTube or examples of inspirational writing, or wherever you find them. In my case I found that I could relate to a lot of what was being said, and examples of my fear to change in the various videos that I have watched today. The effect that can have on you, that you are not completely alone and that you can fulfil your potential that over the years you have believed that you had already peaked.
You keep believing that you have peaked and you start to believe it, you don’t believe you’re capable of anything because of the limits you place on yourself to keep you in that comfortable un-fulfilling spot.
But we are all capable of being so much more, and that’s what I had failed to realise all these years. And to achieve that capability is all down to the individual (me).
Anyhoo I needed to get that down so I would have a memory of this moment so I can look back and see that this is the point it got better.
If you made it this far down the page, thanks for reading 🙂