GTA Online: The Three Bit Gangster Files

So there I was, on a plane to Los Santos….. Controller in hand, sorry about that i thought about making this into some sort of story but I don’t think it would be very interesting, so here it is from the perspective of me, the player and my slightly weird shaped avatar with questionable facial hair and fashion sense.

So, with a palpable sense of excitement in the air I stepped off the plane to meet Lamar, and to get ready to jump in with both feet into the world of GTA Online. It then promptly crashes and my afore-mentioned alien man gets corrupted and I had to create a new one, several million times. Yes I too, like everyone else got caught up in the monumental problems that had hit the “service” no one could log in, randomly deleted characters and bugs aplenty.


The only choice after the masses of problems was to come back a couple of weeks later, with (hopefully) the majority of the bugs fixed and connection problems ironed out. And happily that seems to be the case because I’ve roughly clocked up 24 and a bit hours of game time online, after having trouble playing 2 minutes previously I was just waiting or something to go wrong, which it hasn’t…. Apart from a game freeze or two, but much more acceptable than before.

Initially it is quite overwhelming playing GTA online, where you have that other person you might have to rely on/wait on, instead of in story mode where it goes at your own pace. That is something you do get used too however, you take it for what it is, a brand new GTA game with a slightly different set of rules that when you adapt to it, it gives you a lot of enjoyment and something that will last you an absolute dogs age. First thing I wondered after completing the tutorial missions was…. Where were the golf and tennis clubs? It turns out that since this is effectively an MMO, it holds back content until you are at an appropriate level, it does the same with weapons like in the store amu-nation you can only purchase basic guns until you start levelling up and unlock the more advanced toys.

After you get your bearings, you then get a moment where you start to get an idea of what the GTA Online community is going to be like. Will it be courteous and not shoot each other the split second you come in to view? If that little sentence didn’t give the game away, then nothing will because the community in the game is… Lets say fairly cut throat because 9 times out of 10 if you bump into someone when you’re on foot then you’ll be gunned down quicker than you can say ouch. Things are easier if you’re in a vehicle, plainly because its easier to make a getaway in a car than on foot. Oh and before I forget, whatever cash you get on jobs or activities make sure you deposit into your bank straight away! As the cash you carry can be robbed, so don’t be sorry and deposit money straight away, which you can do by using your phones internet option and visiting your banks website, seriously do it, you’ll be thankful you did.


So, once you get down to the activities you can do in the game world, that’s when the world starts to come alive because you start to earn money and with money! You can buy stuff such as apartments, cars, motorcycles, clothes etc. So you have that added incentive of doing those jobs so you can buy those big shiny things you always wanted. You get your standard flavour of races (car, bikes, air races etc) and death match options plus something a bit special in my opinion which are the parachute races. Those are my personal bread and butter because the scope for hilarity is almost unparalleled, for instance the first time you see someone face planting to the ground I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

My favourite moment was when i landed on the designated target i ended up in spectator mode watching the last game come in to land. Except he misjudged it completely, circled the target and ended up smacking against a building, the comic timing and the rag doll almost cartoonish physics combines and the results were hilarious!

Part 2 to come soon 🙂 (Including Hiring hit squads, putting bounties out on players and watching the resultant shoot out from the safety of my apartment plus a lot more!)

Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed it



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