So yeah as the title says its been somewhat of a hard, hot and sweaty day, half of that you can blame cricket because its 6 odd bloody hours of non-stop sun and just invites sun burn! Plus sore feet and other limbs, so you could say its been pretty taxing, but that’s not the whole reason it was hard.
As you know if you’ve read some of my previous stuff, I do suffer with anxiety problems, and unfortunately today I got it rather bad. Thankfully I managed to find a quiet spot to ride it out, although that took a while, and why did it creep up on me while playing a sport I love to play? Fuck if I know! It just reminds me of the time my doctor told me that it can creep up on you without rhyme or reason. And that’s what scares me, its like you’re at the mercy of an unknown force that can inflict torment upon you without any known cause or reasons behind it. Knowing how something works, or why something’s happening has always helped me, because, hey, better the devil you know right?
That’s the tough thing about It for me, but of course there are ways to help nullify an attack, for me it was music and of course since im home now, gaming, it helps take your mind off things and stops that self-destructive behaviour such as focusing on the negatives and continuing that spiral downwards.
Of course the weather being incredibly hot doesn’t help either, have to keep hydrated and especially for myself an added consideration of monitoring my blood sugar level as im diabetic (Type 1) but thankfully im feeling a lot better than I was earlier, it’s definitely a novel experience when your alone and you’re trying to not burst into tears, teetering on that brink for a good half an hour to 40 minutes.
Its something im not too willing to experience again for a good long while!
Thanks for reading 🙂