Resident Evil Movie Marathon Special: Resident Evil Retrubution Pt 3

untitledSo, as we realise that the next part of the plan is for our heroes to Rendezvous with the strike team, it becomes apparent that as we come closer to that plan, we realise that the guys in the strike team will struggle to meet the RV because they come under serious attack by the zombies infected by the Las Plagas parasite that was initially advertised in the Resident Evil 4 game. This is when the movie morphs from head fucky horror film into the by the numbers action film much like the previous resi evil films. It is when you realise that the action scenes make up half of the film and they don’t advance the over arching story at all.

The big thing for me during these sequences is that when the extras start getting picked off from the strike team, Leon and Barry show absolutely no emotion that there buddy or buddies were just brutally murdered. One gets a chainsaw through the chest and one gets their head bitten off by a huge licker monster, and the reaction by our heroes? Absolutely fuck all, they may have just been nobodies with the amount of reaction given by our main cast at their friends gruesome deaths. Although what really hits home about their deaths is that by the end of the move we see that Leon says that he didn’t come all this way to lose Alice and to see a lot of his friends die this way to fail at this hurdle. Wow, but you’ve seen your friends die gruesomely at this point and you didn’t flash any compassion or emotion whatsoever! So how the fuck are we meant to believe that you cared for the stupid extra wankers that got eaten by the wayside as nothing but cannon fodder?

Anyway, as the film continues we see that two huge axe/hammer zombies stalk and attack Alice and Ada as they make their way through the new York simulation. If you have ever seen and played the games, you’ll know how huge these bastards are, and just how much explosive effort they take to get put down. It just so happens after the butt ton of bullets that get fired into the huge axe zombies heads, the thing that puts them down for good are taxi’s getting their fuel tanks ignited by gun fire, causing huge explosions that would at least singe the baddies if not blow them to tiny pieces. Not a bad way to go I hear you think, but at the same time, with the fuel tanks getting ignited, our heroines are only a few steps away from the explosions, and they escape from the whole ordeal completely un-singed from the explosion, I know it’s the way of the series but come on! let’s have a bit of logic to the action.


So our ladies escape the massive explosion without any injuries as they make their way to the supposed rendezvous with the strike team. The only problem? The strike team is being held up by a million billion las plagas zombies in the Moscow simulation. This would be jolly exciting if this didn’t happen all the freaking time, it just so happens that the movie gets very action heavy for a long period of time that adds absolutely nothing to the story other than how long can the film makers keep the watchers attention before they zone out completely. Again it’s completely fascinating how the characters give absolutely no shits when there support characters get wasted, no matter how creatively whether it be by chainsaw through the chest or whether there heads get bitten off by monsters, the characters uniformly never seem to give a shit.

Way to go about building relationships filmmakers….

While this is going on shall I explain how these simulations are even feasible? Apparently they are all down to clones, where they create simulations for various countries governments so they can simulate biological outbreaks so they can pitch weapons to them to maximise on their profits. And just how do they simulate the human populace in these simulations? Why they create hundreds of clones each time to accurately simulate how the human populace would react in these situations. This is how we see the Alice in her underwear at the start of the film, because she is Alice but not our Alice if you see what I mean. She is apart of Umbrellas clone projects, which is never explained to us until the end of the film, because y’know they want to fuck with our heads.

The problem that existed in the previous simulation (the one that happens during the early part of the movie.) is that Becky (The cloned Alice’s Deaf daughter) never got killed by the zombies, so she sees our Alice and assumes that she is her mum, which ill admit is actually a rather interesting move on the film makers part adding that little bit of complexity towards the story, does our Alice continue the mother role even though Becky is not her daughter? As it turns out, yes she does, and Alice even knows sign language to help communicate with Becky, even though now and in previous films she has never let on that she knows any sign language at all.

Milla Jovovich;Michelle Rodriguez;Boris Kodjoe

Convenient? I should say so! But ill give them a free pass on this because the scenes with Alice and Becky together are very charming, so I’m perfectly willing to give them a pass on this one :).

And for me, that’s what would save this film, is if that had that human factor towards the story, rather than repeating action/fight scenes ad nauseam.

So in the final part of this review, look at Resident Evil Retribution, we’ll see how our heroes escape from the top-secret facility, and hopefully you’ll gain a better understanding of just how stupid these movies are, and just how dumb they are. The best way I can put it is, how the fuck do these movies get green lit and any possible sequels for Dredd looks incredibly unlikely? It’s so unfair considering that is the far superior movie.

Either way, hope you guys and girls enjoy this part and hope you stick around for the final part!

<————- Pt 2   Finale ————->



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