So, here we are at the latest resident evil movie that I’ve been meaning to, and promising to do for quite some time now. It was with some trepidation that I began to watch this today, the DVD cover didn’t exactly fill me with a lot of confidence, even with it saying on the front that this was the biggest and best resident evil yet….. That isn’t saying much guys! But at the very least it was cheap to buy so without further ado let’s get this started!
As is customary it seems with the later films we get a recap of sorts showing the few moments after the end of the previous film, although this time around it shows it in spiffy reverse slow-mo! Which was kind of a round about way of doing things because after it gets to the point where we see the umbrella gun ships flying in again on the Arcadia (The ship everyone thought was a safe haven.) it promptly plays everything in normal speed going forwards. Except this time around it looks stilted and incredibly dull, because hey! we’ve already seen what’s going to happen!
Anyway the kicker is that Alice ends up in the sea, as she had to run away from a freshly burning and crashing gunship heading right for her. So she ends up in the drink, is she dead? Knocked out? Or quite possibly in the process of drowning. It fades out and we get a re-cap this time from Alice (Milla Jovovich) herself, telling us what’s been happening since we’ve been away. I have no problem with this bit really as that’s the price you pay when you make a seemingly endless film series about a game that has an utterly stupid impenetrable story. Although I will say that when she says “Horror” it sounds like “Whore” Which to me was funny…..
Anyway, aside from that the movie starts for real now as we see Alice in bed, dressed suitably in her underwear. Now forgetting that she was just in the sea and a million miles away from any sort of proper bed this scene is a little perplexing, but she looks so good wearing next to nothing that I immediately stopped caring….. Ok ok seriously now, I don’t have a problem with her wearing next to nothing as hey, she’s smoking hot, but I can never get away from the feeling that this could be classed as a tad exploitative, because the film makers never miss a chance for that gratuitous arse shot throughout the movie, even when there not doing that the female leads are either dressed in skin-tight rubber, or in the case of Ada Wong (Character who we haven’t been introduced to yet) wearing a silk dress cut right up to her waist giving us an easy glimpse of her legs.
I could be thinking about this way too much as this could be nothing but fan service, which is what you need when your making a movie tie-in to a successful gaming franchise. Although successful these days is all relative since the last few games have been absolutely dire, hey perhaps the games are now mimicking the films rather than the other way around these days?
Anyway as the scene plays out we discover that Alice has a daughter and is married to the guy who appeared in the 2nd film and the 3rd (Where he blew himself up). I have somewhat of a problem with this, is it really necessary to keep drudging up older characters from the series? It just smacks of laziness on the writers part, write some new characters in and perhaps keep them alive this time. Oh and the dynamic between Alice and her husband (I can’t remember his name and don’t care to find out) is awkward as hell, especially when they play lovey dovey for a second or two because it’s so stiff and unconvincing you hope for something to come in and crash the party….. A zombie attack will do nicely! as hordes of them come crashing out of the woodwork trying to get at Alice and Becky (their deaf daughter).
Alice and Becky managed to escape up to the attic leaving the husband to pretty much get eaten, now this bit puzzles me as much as it amused me because as they manage to sneak out they don’t even look back to see where he is, or even if he’s alive. They just leave the house forgetting about him instantly, that’s a little callous there guys, he was your husband and your father, the least you could do to honour his memory is show a little bit of compassion.
I wont draw the scene out as it drags itself out, with Michelle Rodriguez making an appearance (even though she was killed in the first film) showing off her stellar driving skills flipping the car and killing herself (again). We end on Alice fighting a zombie drawing it off from Becky, and it then gets implied that Alice dies (but not Becky….).
Way to start the film off with a completely pointless and ultimately dull scene, rehashing the same old zombie attack, run away, rinse and repeat formula. Either way it turns out that it WAS a hallucination because we see Alice again come to in what is presumed to be an umbrella holding cell, what gave it away? Well the giant umbrella logo on the floor gives us a little bit of a clue. Again she is wearing next to nothing, save for a square bit of cloth covering her unmentionables front and back which is held together by a tiny bit of string…. How long did that take you to make costume designers?
We get confirmation that this is actually a prison cell via a surveillance screen monitoring Alice, this also gives way to possibly the most ineffectual interrogation ever where we get Jill high up behind a glass screen firing questions at Alice such as “Who do you work for?” (Couldn’t help laughing at that, if you’ve seen the first Austin Powers movie you’ll know what I mean.) *five seconds pass* “Who do you work for?” *Five seconds pass* then torture by screaming really loudly. She’s barely come round and you’re doing this? You’ll accomplish nothing because she doesn’t know where she is or what’s happening you stupid woman!
After this happens a few more times something actually starts to happen! The computer system gets hacked and doors start opening for Alice while clothes pop out in convenient fashion for her so she doesn’t have to run about the facility while only wearing a bit of cloth held together with string. Although the question remains why didn’t they dress her up in that rather than have her semi-nude? Perhaps they were holding it back as a reward for her co-operation, to not be naked?
Either way an opportunity presents itself for escape, but how did this happen? Found out in the next part amid my ranting at this boring completely pointless film.
Thank you for reading hope you enjoyed it 🙂
————-> Pt 2 http://wp.me/p2UB1b-I8