While playing Resident Evil 6 yesterday (because y’know im a glutton for punishment…) I couldn’t help get the feeling that it was in dire need of an editor. No I don’t mean a level editor, but someone to cut out all the unneccessary bits and pieces that add absolutely nothing to the game except boredom and tedium.
So I thought I’d do a quick run down of some of the worst offenders ive run across lately, hope you enjoy it:
- Resident Evil 6
Admittedly I’ve defended this game on a previous post, that if you look past its many flaws it’s a decent gun game that you can have a bit of fun with. Yeah, I take that back right now, the only emotion im left now with this god damn game is one of supreme aggravation. Now, what brought this on when previously I defended the game? Playing through Leons fucking campaign on veteran, now the difficult wasnt the problem as I figured id put it on veteran for the achievement. I realise now though that all it did was give me another shot at tasting the drawn out, ugly, boring, slow butt-fuckery that is his campaign.
To begin with, the god damn quick time events, these are the bane of my life and to the life of my controller! As who the hell thought that whenever you get grabbed by a zombie that it would be a good idea to waggle your controller stick as fast as you can left to right, plus the added circular crank motions you have to do with the stick. These alone happen a couple of million times, so by the end of it you know you’ve done your controller some damage as I don’t expect it was designed to be abused like that! Once you’ve dealt with that hand crippling fuckness, your left to dealt with the absurd dialogue and overly long cut scenes and unneccessary parts of the game that the over seeing designer thought they’d leave in.
For example why would you leave in a supposedly finished game a 5 second bit of gameplay as filler in between cut scenes? Just merge them damn it! Far too many times ive seen after a lengthy cut scene, returning to gameplay and then 5 steps later it takes away control again, in what id call the metal gear solid syndrome. Which include the symptoms, redundant dialogue, redundant gameplay sections and incredibly cut scene heavy. Whoever lead this project needs to learn when to cut something out, more stuff is not always better chaps.
Phew I feel better for getting that off my chest! I’m not wholly convinced this can be saved by its co-op mode. Resident Evil 5 I enjoyed immensely as that had a lot less of the bullshit of 6, plus the retarded A.I. partner could always be replaced by someone else (and that was the main gripe on the whole, the retarded A.I.).
- Halo 4: Spartan Ops
Just to say, this is not about Halo 4 as I love the game, this is about the spartan ops mode attached to its multiplayer. Which is advertised as co-op centric missions to play with your friends etc. Sounds great right? After you complete the proper campaign you can continue on with a parallel story with your mates…. The only problem with that is finding mates who want to play the damn thing, because its boring as fuck. Granted the CGI story cut scenes are utterly breathtaking and are a blast to watch, but that’s about it, as the missions are nothing more than move from point a to b, pressing a switch, killing a metric fuck ton of enemies, rinse and mother humping repeat argghh!
Seriously there is absolutely zero variation to this formula, its insane how many enemies they throw at you and expect you to stay invested in it, its madness. I got bored with it by episode 3, but like an idiot I ploughed on because of the complete 5 episodes achievement (which I now have, yay!). The mode also gives you infinite re-spawns, which normally you would say robs you of any challenge, however it doesn’t because you need those infinite re-spawns to even complete the damn thing as there are so many of the bastards running around. This however presents a problem, because it turns what 343 might have intended to be a hectic shoot out thrill ride into an utterly dreary, drab, dull grind fest which is precisely what you don’t want in an FPS.
*Side note the writing is at times utterly terrible, no where is this more apparent than with the Palmer character who seemingly utters the phrase “Eggheads” in each sentence she says…. Ever! Listen lady those eggheads are the reason you could become a spartan so show some respect you arrogant whelp.*
And…. Breathe, wow ive wanted to get that off my chest, also I cant be the only one with gripes like these can I?
More Lost Odyssey coming next.
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this little rant 😀