Apologies for the delay, Halo 4 has been un-expectantly taking up my time, you can blame my romance in Halo post for that one (it’s also worth a read too, *nudge*)
Anyway though back to Lost Odyssey:
We left our heroes silently slinking away from a mob, that’s been slowly forming since Tolten ascended to the throne of Uhra and essentially dissolved the republic for good. Unfortunately though as we make our way out we get cornered by soldiers with shields for guns (work that one out!) and a weird sort of tank. So we get ready to beat these fools down, but before we do that we send Mack and Cooke off on their way so they don’t get hurt…. Despite proving they can fight (if you remember the crimson forest), but whatever they suddenly become vulnerable again so who am I to argue with that…. Hmm
It just so happens that we have lost our fighting balls too as we decide to give up and get taken in by General Kakanas, although apparently if we did fight back it would probably trigger all out war so I *suppose* it was the smart thing to do. So we get taken into custody and as it cuts back to the Numaran throne room we see that our heroes are getting interrogated there, hmm not the most conventional place to interrogate suspected spies, but anyway we go through the whole spiel again of “Your Spies!” “Am Not!” “Are Too!” etc, until we get to a point where a Numaran sorcerer detects something in Jansens eye, what could it be I hear you wonder out loud?
Well, It turns out that Jansen has had a bug implanted in his eye without his knowledge, because it is a magic crystal that shows the sorcerer who cast the spell to see whatever his victim his seeing. Now trying to gloss over how the hell you could do this without anyone knowing, but how does one contact lens shaped magic crystal do all that? I guess magic is being used like the force, and new powers are being pulled out of its arse (Ow!). So since Jansen didn’t know he had been used by Gongora and turned into a spy, you’d think Kakanas would let them all go. You’d think so, but no, he walks a few paces away for dramatic effect *natch*, turns around and with a flail of hands and cloak orders his men to kill us.
You know how this ends though, his soldiers get fucked up, but again there are quite a lot of them so we are a bit stuck….. That is, until the room suddenly fills with dense smoke, and while everyone is confused (including the player!) we hear the soldiers and Kakanas gasp, so when the smoke finally clears out we see that Kakanas and his soldiers have had their armour removed and wearing just there pants (underwear). Turns out it was Mack and Cooke who have come to our rescue who seemingly have found there fighting prowess again, somehow, so we take our cue to leave, while Kakanas being the biggest fucking girl ever tries to cover up his chest and stomach like he had tits or something.
So while we leave Kakanas to clean out his vagina, we stumble out onto the palace grounds and commence fighting all sorts of guard beasts and soldiers, who are a breeze to take down of course. Once this is all done and we’ve leveled up some more, we find ourselves in the Queens chambers where she appears to be asleep on her bed or passed out unconscious, either way, Jansen wakes her up and tries to put the moves on her again (what a creep) but thankfully Seth is here and gives him a swift kick, go Seth!
(Where are you looking Jansen hmm? Although to be fair what Ming is wearing can’t be very erm… Supportive?)
But as we talk with Ming, Kakanas barges in after cleaning his vagina out with a new set of armour, intent on our re-capture. So Jansen, casual as you like grabs Ming and uses her as a human shield as we make our escape through the secret passage in her room (Which she tells us about, hmm perhaps she wants to come with us?) all the while Kakanas blusters and stammers as we get out of the palace, locking the door behind us of course.
As we get clear, we for some reason stop and catch a breather…. While still in the bloody city! And so as we expect, Kakanas catches up to us, in a tank no less and squares up to us and engages us in a boss battle. Which isn’t that hard, as long as you get Mack to power up Kaim and Seth, use Cooke to cast Zephyr (which heals everyone) and get Jansen to do whatever, you’ll have no problems. Once he’s beaten we manage to get away because we’ve essentially disabled the tank and apparently Kakanas can’t use his legs to run after us, result!
But where do we escape? And how?
Thanks for reading