You read the title correctly….
But before we get to that our heroes have to escape jail first….
So here is probably one of the worst sections of the game, well of any game in fact, the fucking enforced stealth sections where if you get spotted you get sent all the way back to the jail to start again. Essentially its like trial and error gameplay which no one likes unless your playing something like hotline Miami, trials or bloody super meat boy but not in a JRPG! It might not help that I played this section while slightly drunk at the time, where every time I had to be quiet I tried to run full speed and always got caught (rinse and repeat till I finally got the message to be slow and cautious.) Seriously though when have mandatory stealth sections ever been a good idea?
Anyway before I waste the entire post on whingeing about stealth sections, after multiple retries and yelled expletives, we finally get to the back door elevator which brings us to a new area and thankfully its an area which happens to contains our weapons which we manage to take back, re-arm, and kick the shit out of the guards who took it from us, oh so satisfying! After the arse kicking is concluded we find ourselves in a garden like area with a few doors to see whats behind and check out to see if there are any hidden treasure about, although this is pointless because all the fucking doors are locked! So we only really have one way to go, the way where the harp music is playing, it’s at this point however that Jansen remembers that the queen plays a harp and he thinks she’ll be an utter babe so he puts on his raping shoes and makes his way towards the queens chambers…. LOCKING the door behind him so Kaim and Seth can’t follow him, is anyone else questioning him right now?
(See what i mean about the cleavage?)
And as Kaim and Seth try to follow him, they get ambushed by yet more solders. Thanks a lot Jansen you cunt.
So after we cut away from the soldiers massing against our heroes we take control of Jansen as we make our way towards the inner sanctum of the queen who happens to be playing a gigantic harp (Well they didn’t have video games back then….), as you approach Queen Ming, Jansen turns into simpering fuckwit mode and produces line after line in a dull rapey tone that would creep out the most open-minded prostitute in the world. Ming is understandably confused (who is this weirdo with the effeminate clothes and hair do?) but then as Jansen continues his creepy routine he seems to drug her….. Yes DRUG HER! As she is struggling to keep conscious and fall to the ground he moves to pick her up, presumably to steal her? I am not comfortable with this at all, someone stop him!
There is something i feel i must mention though before the end of this entry. It is that Ming has the most ludicrous outfit known to man, she has a monstrously huge cleavage where about 80% is on display (now I don’t really have a problem with that! But it can’t be very comfortable for her surely? Also its kind of degrading isnt it?) A very good friend of mine always had a problem with her dress, she was lets say non plussed with it. Which you could understand as it kind of makes Queen Ming nothing more than something to ogle at…. Initially *Cliff Hanger Music*
Part 8 out tomorrow as I was a bit busy today, but you get 2 parts tomorrow as compensation 🙂
Hope you enjoyed reading it