Movie Time: Machete

 Scale of 1-10 of awesomeness?…..20!


I’ve seen this a couple of times now (i bought the dvd on the cheap a couple of weeks ago) i felt that i wouldn’t be able to do this film justice without it being very fresh in my mind.

The initial feelings you got during this film is that “wow that was so awesome” or  trying to keep your eyes on the tv during the especially gory scenes as they can verge on hard to watch at times. The film stars Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Lindsey Lohan, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal and Michelle Rodriguez, the story is about this mexican federale (Nicknamed Machete hence the film title) who in a sense gets exiled to america as an illegal immigrant, avoiding getting into trouble by an immigration officer (played for Alba). The federale gets approached to assassinate a xenophobic and rabily anti immigrant US senator played by Robert De Niro (who plays his role brilliantly and at times is absolutely hilarious) This inevitably goes tits up because they had intended to frame danny trejo to ensure the senator gets re-elected.

The rest of the film plays out with trejo cutting and mutilating his way through scores of henchmen determined to get revenge on the guys who set him up. Which is the meat of the film and is so brilliant and really funny as the film dabbles quite alot with dark humour but to wonderful effect, such as when the senator recovers from his gun shot wound in the leg (trejo’s character didnt do it the shooter intending to set him up shot him) he’s walking around normally in his room and then when he walked out onto a press conference he hobbles and milks it for all its worth while the news casters look on in awe. Another example is when trejo goes to a hospital thats sympathetic to immigrants he gets treated by a doc and two supremely hot nurses, the bad guys show up at the hospital intending to finish him off, trejo picks up several sharp implements like bone cutters and saws etc and the doctor tries to warn him to be careful “that can cut through bone like butter!” and the look trejo gives him is priceless a mix between “that sounds perfect” and what do you think im going to use it for?!”

Ok that didn’t sound funny as i wrote it but trust me it is all in the delivery. I am deliberately skimming the story somewhat because well the story is functional, of course in a film like this the story is only used to justify the action scenes and various bits of violence and in that it works very well, just don’t overthink it and accept it at face value and you’ll have a blast. Oh one more thing about the story whoever wrote the final climactic gun battle with the mexican immigrants and the racist vigilante group deserves a medal because that is one of the most awesome things i’ve ever seen on film its cool and at times very funny (another example of the dark humour which in this scene is used with impeccable timing).

The one fault i have with the film is the casting of the main bad guy namely Steven Seagal who is so not intimidating and is an utterly terrible actor. He’s meant to be the de facto drug kingpin but how he plays it you can never really believe it. He’s just awful in it, not much else to say about it other than say his death scene redeems himself a little bit where he gets stabbed by a machete (who would have thought!) and then proceeds to monologue about how he could still kill trejo but he won’t as he’ll still just seem him in hell anyway and then proceeds to dig the machete deeper inside him and twists it (again in another show of dark humour) until he dies, now that was kind of funny. To sum him up though surely its not a good villain when the main character (the good guy) is more intimidating and more bad ass than the overall evil character?

Anyway apart from that this film is an absolute riot, with its action scenes and dark humour aplenty you’d be silly to miss out on it plus you can pick the dvd up on the cheap now so theres even less excuse to not buy it 😀

Thanks for reading


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1 Response to Movie Time: Machete

  1. Pingback: Movie Time! “Machete Kills….” | djrutland1

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